Avoiding Wedding Day Disasters
Everyone dreams of having a perfect wedding. However, it is not uncommon for every bride’s special day to be plagued with at least one or two wedding disasters. Know several forms of wedding disasters, follow our simple tips on how to deal with a few common wedding day disasters, and realize that a disaster-free wedding day is actually possible.
Wedding planning helps to avoid disasters on your most special day. But despite all efforts to achieve a perfect wedding there will always be small hiccups along the road that could turn your day into a major disaster! With proper planning and a simple change in your priorities you will be able to relax and actually enjoy marrying the person you love.
There seems to be no such thing as a disaster proof wedding. It is not uncommon for couples to find their wedding day to be plagued with one or two significant disaster. This article isn’t really so much about how to avoid your wedding disaster, or even how to minimize the wedding disaster potential, but how to handle one so that the disaster does not have to ruin, or even heavily impact, your wedding day.
Planning a wedding is one half optimistic jubilation and dream realization and one half delegation. Division of labor or proper delegation on your wedding day plans may result to a fabulous wedding. If, however, you become too demanding, delegate too heavily and heap piles of responsibilities onto just one or two people, or try to master every chore yourself, you are definitely asking for wedding day disasters to show up and make themselves well known on the big day.
Small Disasters, Large Disasters, and Opportunities
Disasters are going to range from small to large. Anything can happen on a wedding day. The flower girl might wet her pants or the groom might faint, forget his vows, or forget where the church is and what time he is supposed to be there. Using your potential disasters as an opportunity requires a very special mind set, but one that anyone is able to achieve. Weddings become so important, especially to women, because they earmark an event that is “supposed to happen” in a very “specific manner.”
When we can start to let go of the “supposed to” and “should” theories, then we can focus in a more determined fashion on what is most vital to us, why we are going through with this highly expensive and taxing endeavor, and how we can make sure we enjoy our own wedding day. For all the money, time, energy, and thought that we put into a wedding, so many men and women alike find that they either barely even remember the day or didn’t have time to enjoy the day. We usually spend more money, time, and energy on wedding planning than we do for vacations and yet we don’t completely enjoy them or at least remember them? How logical is that?
Turning a problem into an opportunity is not easy, but it is very simple. The primary step is learning to recognize any chance or room for improvement or change from the traditional wedding ceremony. The second is learning to allow yourself an ideal emotional day and let the details fall as close to as you hoped as possible. If your emotional experience is beautiful and life affirming, the physical experience around you will be better.
A Change in Priorities Breathes New Life into Weddings
A simple change in your priorities may be just what you need in order to achieve your perfect wedding. Simple changes in your priorities or minor shift in your perspective might as well change your entire wedding day experience. The ability to be flexible no matter what happens is just the beginning. Nothing will change and it will not make you less joyful while you exchange wedding vows if you allow your flower girl to change into different clothes after she wets her pants. Watching your abouttobehusband go on the fly when it is his turn to recite his wedding vows allows you to witness honest beauty rather than watching him blow it. These small but vital changes in perspective are a strong piece of bringing together the perfect wedding day. Ditching the ideas of “could be” and “should be” and “want it to be” and transforming your day into an honest celebration of love, family, friends, and the future creates a while new vibe for the entire wedding.
With enough perspective alterations your wedding day can go from that story book fantasy that ends with a notated disaster that stands to ruin the whole day to a beautiful day without pretense, without judgment, and without emotional distress.
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How to Plan a Wedding Reception
The type of your reception should be compatible with the ceremony style.
There are three general types of receptions; however there are many ways to go about planning a wedding reception:
- A tea or stand-up buffet, for an early – or late-afternoon wedding, usually consists of hors d oeuvres, wedding cake, and beverages, and allows approximately eight pieces of finger food in the per-person cost.
- A sit-down buffet, for a morning, noon, or evening wedding, allows guests to serve themselves and then be seated at tables.
- A sit-down dinner, for a wedding held after 6pm, offers a four or five course meal that is served to seated guests.
The basic requirements for a reception are the wedding cake and a beverage for toasting the bridal couple. Champagne is traditionally served at formal receptions, but the serving of alcoholic beverages of any kind is a matter of choice.
The reception is likely to consume the largest portion of your wedding budget. Also, you should appoint someone reliable to oversee the reception, coordinate last-minute details, and direct cleanup. To help with these responsibilities, a reception organizer, reception seating chart, reception receiving line, reception room diagrams, and worksheet for the table layout may be filled out and given to the reception coordinator.
How to Choose a Reception Site
You will need to coordinate available dates and times with both the ceremony and reception sites before confirmation can be made. How to choose a reception site is largely determined by the size of your guest list. It is important to have a room that is neither too large nor too small. Your guests may feel lost in a room too large.
To make the room appear smaller, you can partition off an area using potted plants, roping, or moveable room dividers.
If a room is too small, it may become cramped and uncomfortable. When weather and location permit, the reception could spill over into a garden or patio to increase the size of the area.
Allow approximately three hours for your reception. The length will depend upon the style of the reception, the location you have chosen, and the number of guests to be served.
Most hotels and caterers, who may be involved with more than one reception on any given day, prefer that you select a time for your reception that stays within a single conventional time period (morning, noon, afternoon, or evening). If your reception extends into a second time period – such as from afternoon into evening – you may find difficulty in reserving a room, or an increase in cost for the use of the room and services.
When you have a choice of using all or some of the services offered with a possible reception site (perhaps in a “packaged deal”), consider every detail before deciding. Packages may include (a) room, food, and service; or (b) room, food, service, cake, and decorations. Most banquet facilities and halls require that you use their food and beverage services. Hotels sometimes offer extras with their packages, such as discounted room prices for out-of-town guests, and special wedding night rates for the bride and groom. When reserving a reception room months in advance of your wedding, ask for a guaranteed price and get it in writing. Make certain that any contract you sign includes only those services you desire, including a cancellation policy whereby you get most of your money back should you cancel (particularly if the location is rebooked by another group). Some locations will allow you to reserve a room for a time before signing a contract; however, a deposit is required at signing – usually 10 percent of the total estimated cost.
How to Choose a Wedding Caterer
If you are trying to figure out how to choose a wedding caterer, the time and date of your wedding must be confirmed with them and also with the ceremony and reception sites before you order any invitations. When looking for a caterer, ask your family and friends for recommendations. Also, ask any unknown caterers for references, and samples of their food, if possible.
By informing an experienced caterer of the amount you have budgeted for the event, the facilities to be used, and the number of invited people, he can quickly tell you what can be served, in what amount, and in what style. If the caterer is not familiar with the reception site you have selected, have him visit it to determine what is available and what is needed to make it functional for preparing and serving the food. Determine who is responsible for renting any needed extras – kitchen and serving equipment, tables, chairs, linens, table settings etc. Most caterers break down the cost into a per-person charge. Ask if the quoted price also included the tax and gratuity. You may want to ask who gets the leftover food (since you will have already paid for it). Ask how many people the caterer will provide for serving the food. – a buffet table requires a serve for every main dish. – a sit-down dinner requires a server for every ten guests. – beverages require a server for every fifty guests. Sometimes, even if you provided the cake, the beverages, and their respective serves, there is a service charge added by the caterer or reception site, especially when they offer the same service. This charge can be extra or hidden in the total per-person charge. When you sign a contract, be certain it specifies exactly what is to be served, the number of people serving it, the per-person cost, the payment schedule, and a release clause should you have to cancel.
How to Order a Wedding Cake
While seeking estimates for the wedding cake from the banquet manager, caterer, or bakery, taste samples to determine the quality of the cake they offer. So you are probably wondering how to order a wedding cake. You will need an estimate of the number of guests you are expecting when you order your cake. Most prices are based on a per-serving cost. A down payment is usually required when ordering. The number of needed servings determines both the size and shape of the cake – the number of servings per layer size. Do not hesitate to inquire if, with their guidance, you can design your own cake.
It is better to have the bakery deliver the cake to the reception site. They can then make any necessary repairs to the icing.
Do not be afraid to ask friends to cut and serve the cake, even if they have never done it before. It is not difficult when given proper instructions.
To preserve the top layer of your cake, wrap it first in plastic wrap, then in two layers of aluminum foil before sealing with freezer tape.
If you order more cake than you actually need, you may donate any uncut portions to nursing homes, charitable dining rooms, and others.
How to Setup a Wedding Cake
The wedding cake may be used as a centerpiece on the brides table on the buffet table, or it may be placed on its own table. When deciding on the best location, consider serving accessibility as well as how to best highlight the cake. Knowing the design of your cake – round, square, banquet, or heart shaped, consider what table would best enhance its appearance. Cover the table with long cloths. Skirting may be necessary to cover the table to the floor.
Trim the table and base of the cake with flowers, greenery, garlands, or bows. The bridesmaid’s bouquets may also be places on the table as part of the decorations.
I hope that helps give you an idea of how to setup a wedding cake.
Bridal Party Arrival at a Wedding Reception
Select someone other than a family member to serve as the unofficial reception host/hostess until the arrival of the bride’s parents or other official hosts of the reception. Sometimes the bridal party can be detained due to completion of the photographs at the ceremony site. For this reason, you may want to provide hors d oeuvres and beverages for your guests preceding a buffet or sit-down dinner.
Who will be the spokesperson for your bridal party arrival at a wedding reception? The emcee, DJ, or bandleader can announce the arrival of the bridal party. You will want to provide the emcee with a list of names of those to be introduced. The list should be in order of their appearance. Include the phonetic pronunciation of each persons name as well as his or her relationship to you or the groom.
Following is a suggested order of appearance: Bride’s parents Groom’s parents Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman Maid/Marton of Honor and the best man Guest of Honor the Bride and Groom
Receiving Line at a Wedding Reception
Form the receiving line at a wedding reception based on the best traffic flow for the groom. The receiving line is for the bridal couple and their parents to greet guests and receive their congratulations. It should not disband until each guest in the line has been greeted. If you choose not to have a receiving line, you may circulate among the guests for the same purpose, greeting each one. Though sometimes held at the ceremony site, a receiving line is traditionally formed at the reception. You may greet any late arrivals as you mingle with your guests. To lessen the amount of time spent receiving guests, include only the bridal couple, parents, and honor attendants in the receiving line.
Participants traditionally stand in this order: the bride’s mother, the groom’s mother, the bride, the groom, the maid of honor, and the bridesmaids (in order, with the bridesmaid who led the processional at the end of the line). If the fathers are included in the line, the grooms father stands next to the brides mother and the brides father stands between the bride and the grooms mother, (if the brides father participates in the line, the best man assumes the role of reception host until the brides father is free). Take into consideration your family situation when deciding who will participate in the receiving line and where they will stand, particularly if your parents are divorced.
Guest Book at a Wedding Reception
Locate the guest book at a wedding reception near the entrance or at the end of the receiving line. The book can be circulated among the guests to be sure everyone has signed it. The person (or persons) who tended the book at the ceremony site could also tend it at the reception (or others could be designated).
Seating Arrangements at a Wedding Reception
- Tea or stand-up buffet: You may have a brides table and two or three other tables designated for the bridal party, parents, grandparents, and other family members. It is better to have only half as many chairs as guests, to allow room for people to move about. A few tables should be placed about the room to receive the empty plates, cups, and forks.
- Sit-down buffet or dinner: The brides table generally includes the brides and grooms attendants, other than children, sitting in alternating positions on either side of the bridal couple: Usher/Bridesmaid/Usher/Bridesmaid/Best man/BRIDE/GROOM/Maid of Honor/Usher/Bridesmaid/Usher/Bridesmaid Bridesmaids and ushers may be seated at specially designated tables other than the brides table. The parents can have both sets of parents seated with the officiant and his or her spouse. You could also have separate tables for the brides and grooms parents. Other honored guests can be seated with the parents with this arrangement: ———————–Brides Mother Grooms Father———————Wedding Officiant Grandparent,Friend—————Grandparent,Friend Officiants Wife———————-Grooms Mother ———————–Brides Father When the bride’s parents are divorced, the groom’s parents sit with the parent who raised the bride. The other parent sits with his or her family and friends at a separate table. If there are children in the wedding party, they may either be seated with their parents or at a special children’s table under adult supervision. If you are planning to have assigned seating arrangements at a wedding reception, use a reception seating chart to help you plan.
If you are using unassigned seating, you may want to use the following method to help avoid confusion or traffic blocks among the guests:
1.) conspicuously but tastefully display a number card on each table
2.) write each guests name and assigned table number on a name/seating card:
3.) place the cards on a hostess table near the entrance to the reception area so that guests can find their seats easily.
Post Wedding Reception Parties
When all the planning of the past few months has come to fruition, the wedding and reception are over, and the bride and groom have left for their honeymoon – now what? If the festivities occurred early in the day, the bride’s parents might consider inviting family members, the grooms parents, and special friends to join them in an informal gathering at home. Continuing the celebration in an intimate home atmosphere, rather than having it come to an abrupt end at the close of the reception, will help the parents to better adjust to the change of pace after the furious activity of the past few months.
Post wedding reception parties and activities could extend over the next several days with swimming and boating trips, picnics, and trips to museums, plays, sporting events, etc.
Robert Reno works for Encore Event Group. His team provides modern DJs, lighting design, and photo booth rentals for Michigan events. Visit the following links for more info about their Photo Booths in Michigan or DJ in Michigan.
